living with a bipolar spouse stories reddit

When I started documenting my days and tracking my moods and so on, I got new meds and am getting back on track. I decided after many years of tolerating my sister's behavior that I'd had it. But it does make the decision to leave/stay harder. I feel like the big component in your relationship is that you're willing to have your spouse be your parter in your mental health. All I can say is figuring out how to decrease her stress level. I think you need to make it clear that she's got to take them, and maybe also tell her doc that she isn't adhering to the plan. I know it will happen over and over and over. It's good that you recognized your limitations so now you can deal with it. I will second /u/Ghabergha in that the only thing that ever made it better, was the decision to leave. We're on the outside and in a hostile role no matter what we do. In fact, she was pretty normal until we hit a critical mass of kids, and the stress triggered her condition. It was a few days before Thanksgiving in 2007. Most of the time when my wife starts to lose it, I'll start to lose it too. Bipolar Friend/Family. A professional counselor can help. I have been divorced from my bipolar spouse since June of 2016. Learn about how you can help, tell him/her how you are struggling and the kids are affected. Hi everyone, I don't usually post on bipolar reddit but I just need some help from you guys. My life living with bipolar I started on cold November night. This is important because he's going to keep adjusting meds she isn't even taking, waisting time and money but also maybe ignoring a combination that would work if he took it. To roll with it and wait for it to pass. Try these tips for coping with the inevitable mood swings. Living with Bipolar Disorder: A Real Life Story Please note that this is article is written to be an informative view of what it is like in reality living with Bipolar Disorder. Here are some things to consider before making the decision and how to … And if you are co-morbid with a personality disorder, he will either divorce you or ambivalently welcome the day one of you dies. There are many behaviors that come with having a bipolar spouse, and these behaviors can be very frustrating for you to deal with sometimes It's come down to an ultimatum with that baseline, get help or get out. There was so many other issues going on in my marriage that helped push the decision (drug/alcohol and physical/mental/sexual abuse). It's exhausting. Raw truth. I tried being helpful and supportive, but it's just a fucking train of crazy. I think family court judges should not award custody or joint custody to a bipolar parent a vast majority of the time. Be a part of something that cares about who you are. I know that is common for people with bipolar to struggle with finding the right doses but she has pretty much given up on meds and life now. Despite popular belief, bipolar patients can have a normal life. I am part of a team of researchers at New York State Psychiatric Institute/Columbia University who are currently recruiting participants for a research study looking at an investigational treatment for self-injury called transcranial direct current stimulation, or tDCS. And your medication might be working at this time, but what about when it wears off? Bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance in the brain that we were born with. Living with a person with bipolar disorder can be difficult. I'm ADHD w/ anxiety, my oldest son is ADHD/anxiety as well. Not the OP, but going through the same life with my husband. She wasn't diagnosed until well after we were married. Best of luck. Just trust she'll come back, detach and work on yourself. I love her like a handicapped child that on some level I despise. Feature Stories. Again he was prescribed meds took them for a couple of weeks but they "dulled" his creative side so he stopped taking them. Marriage isn't really permanent until you have children, and from my experience, bipolar and kids do not mix. She has been living with her mother, just a mile down the road. Maybe therapy/counseling where you are both present? I'm not saying that I'm advocating leaving simply because of bipolar. We saw a different GP who agreed with our diagnosis of bipolar type2. Give yourself a break. At the age of 36, after decades of living with erratic and self-destructive behavior that tortured her family, Julie Kraft finally received a diagnosis—bipolar II disorder. Hi everyone, I don't usually post on bipolar reddit but I just need some help from you guys. A Reddit to share information about who you are, how you think, and what helps you cope in life. Living with Bipolar Disorder . Are you my husband? Your wife might like going to a peer support group too. I care about her, but I don't love her like a spouse. 00. In a recent NAMI meeting I attended, the parents of children with bipolar disorder shared their experiences with the sudden changes in behavior that make each day, week and month a challenge. Being in a relationship where one or both partners have bipolar disorder is not easy. by Keith Monroe | Jun 25, 2017. It's a hard line to walk especially when there's kids involved. Essentially, they're portrayed as completely out of control. I was not pregnant or taking drugs. I know she isn't going to just magically get her shit together one day, and I don't have time to do everything that needs to be done because I'm the sole bread earner. I ensure I’m open and honest with my spouse and insist she treats me the same. She is on meds and stable, and I've seen it all pretty much at this time. I'm feeling you. My wife has always had bipolar since I've known her but back then it wasn't quite the ordeal that it is now. Can you picture growing old in this situation? He can only do his best with what I tell him, and for awhile that was not good enough. But, two years ago he went off the meds completely, to "get a baseline of who he is". Frankly, does love even matter in this equation? I know this. If you really want to have kids, permanent birth control might act as a failsafe to ensure that the decision is made deliberately. me and SO are 9 months into the new meds and I am hoping they are finally helping. Archived. I have such a never give up attitude that I can't stand knowing she is hurting so much and that nothing I do to alleviate the pain will ever help. I was taking my meds but they were the wrong ones. 10 Tips for Coping With a Bipolar Spouse. I live with somebody with bipolar..... even though she doesn’t recognize it, or has had it diagnosed. As someone living with a significant other with bipolar disorder, not only is it a challenge for the individual, but also for their family, friends and caregivers. Press J to jump to the feed. Living with a bipolar spouse stories. Do junkies that fuck over their parents love them, on some level probably but again big fucking deal. Even being so close, she only visits me about 1-2 times per week, and only for a short time before she gets antsy and has to go. With kids you're pretty much fucked. When my wife is down, she often laments about how she is an unfit parent and how she has passed crazy genes down to our kids, so I think at least those fears of yours are well founded. There is no way she could have known. When she is manic, I know to let things slide. I'm a bipolar 2 mother of toddler twins. It is usually the biggest and most severe trigger. It has only been in the past […] The medication or...? Knowing that all of us will likely be struggling with this for the rest of our lives is a tough pill to swallow. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Even when she is on the meds, it is practically unbearable. I think the best you can do for yourself is to leave. My wife has always had bipolar since I've known her but ... Posted by u/[deleted] 3 years ago. For solution, I don't know anything specific. It seems like it's not her fault but the bipolar illness that's getting to you, which is a shame. I've been living with a bipolar spouse for many years now. My family had this problem. The abuse you are continuing to be exposed to is unhealthy, for you and your family. I feel the OP's struggles. It's only been a short time for us with the help of therapies, but it's been 3 years without any meds at all. Her illness is just chemistry, and from my perspective, the rest is just how much abuse are the rest of us willing to put up with. I learned the hard way that if I am not brutally honest about my life when I talk to my psych, I don't get the right stuff. They will learn that this is … My one suggestion to you would be to get some sort of permanent birth control like an implant. "lets try new meds" sounded much better before the reality hit. For us, the diagnosis was a surprise two years ago. After she had our second child 2 years ago she hasn't been the same. Just your thoughts on how could help her would be greatly appreciated! By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. That I can talk to without having to analyze every word in my head before I say it. Somewhat bizarrely, in 25 years of marriage no-one had ever asked me that before. She has been to the doctor countless times to adjust her meds, but a lot of the times I catch her not even taking them. The difference (assuming the alcoholic isn’t also bipolar) is that mania isn’t just followed by a hangover – it is inevitably followed by serious depression, and if the bipolar person is undiagnosed or untreated, their thinking may still be irrational and their perceptions still distorted. I hate how she is in this never ending cycle of complaining, making big plans, failing to follow through, raging at us for whatever (unclean house, disobedience, etc.) If you stay with the bipolar spouse the child will be affected by the anger, blaming, outbursts, impulsive behavior, and mood swings. please explain how life got easier when she died, and what ur emotions are about this topic like if this topic was ur girlfriend would u like her or hate her. They're hypersexual and prone to fits of rage. I have a kid with my ex, so I stuck around longer than I would have otherwise, but ultimately I, and the kid are much better off not having to live in that environment anymore. You should go to and find a family support group you can attend. Living with a bipolar spouse: Definitive guide on living everyday with a bipolar spouse. My wife and mother were bipolar and they had other issues as well. It's been incredibly difficult to work around everything. r/bipolar: A safe haven for bipolar related issues. She does have a few days where the wife married shines through but they are few and far between. If you spouse fully accepts the diagnosis and resolves to get treatment, you could begin working together and make the marriage stronger than ever. It's utterly exhausting. I went through the same thing and came to the same conclusions. Whether you have a bipolar spouse or you are one yourself you can have a successful relationship. When she is manic, I know to let things slide. It kills me seeing her this way and now I'm starting to fall into the same murky waters of depression as her. We've been together 15 years, and he'd always been on an SSRI. One day whilst at work (I work 12 hour shifts) he phoned me to say he was feeling awful in fact so awful he had taken himself to the local hospital as he just couldnt bear living like this anymore. Wait why did she die?? I've tried as much as I possibly can for her and with every attempt she either escapes the train of thought for half the day or just shoves the feelings she has further down. You know the trope: One minute characters are catatonically depressed, and the next they're so manic they think they can fly off a building. The only thing that fixed it, was leaving. We are a community here not just a help page. This sub is a place that people can come for advice or just to vent so that we do not affect our significant others with our emotions. There's nothing you can do. That I can just be with and enjoy. Hear our revealing conversation about how she nearly destroyed her family and read an excerpt from her memoir. Did you ever act like that? The thing that gets to me is that no matter how many times I go through the roller coaster, I can't ever get used to it. I had no idea what was going on. If your wife is indeed taking her meds and acting like this still, I'd question whether she's on the right cocktail. Just poped into my head when I read this. Some day you'll reach the end of your rope and do what you have to. She is on meds and stable, and I've seen it all pretty much at this time. I was in my freshman year in high school and wound up feeling very depressed. I do fear for your wife, but you can't really do much about it. I had a manic episode when i was 20 he said looking me in the eye as we both played nervously with our beers. I live most of my life dreading this shit bomb dropping at the worst time, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. In the personal stories that follow, you’ll read about the difficulties of holding down a steady job, being a consistent partner and parent, learning to be truly independent. Also it seems you don't love her really anymore. Living with a spouse with Bi polar. She says she has been having suicidal thoughts for the last few months and I've made appointments for her to get help and she is so scared that they will send her to a metal ward. We hope there aren’t, but aspects of the article may be slightly distressing. I think she'll be fine, I suppose. I swore I wouldn't give my kids a broken home, but this whole situation left me blindsided. Are you able to be the best parent and spouse you can be? I had tried to take my life by overdosing on my sleeping medication, and I … My husband is actually coming with me to my next appt so we can do this, as our marriage has hit a bumpy patch due to some stuff I did before my recent med change. If you don't mind some internet stranger asking, what was it that pushed you to leave? I know the signs, I have seen the signs, it runs in her family, and frankly as she gets older it gets worse. I don't have to walk on eggshells anymore. Ideally, Cairns says, the individual with bipolar should have a well-rounded support team—including a psychiatrist, psychologist, other family members, and at least one close friend. I love her because I have to love her, but she doesn't bring me joy. I unfriended her on Facebook after her last bout of drama. To roll with it and wait for it to pass. They can have a spouse, children, and a … Free with Kindle Unlimited membership Learn More Or $2.99 to buy. But I don't want to say that with kids you're fucked. Bipolar stories are invariably gut-wrenching litanies of loss and regret. I keep worrying if I'm doing my kids a disservice and going the single parent route. I can't see how it will ever get better for me or them. For starters, the ups and downs of bipolar disorder can disrupt the rhythms and routines of a household. I am not serene enough to float through all this calmly so that I can provide a bedrock for my children. Thank you to the moderators of r/BipolarSOs for allowing me to post here!. When your fiance gets used to you, and if you fly off the handle because your bipolar is not well medicated, he might handle it well the first few times, but it will wear him down. She got on new meds that made her dull but stable and then she died in less than a week. It took me by surprise when someone asked me what it was like being married to someone who had bipolar disorder. Abuse can take the form of Good for you sticking around for the kids if that is the best option. Without being willing to bring him in, it is exponentially harder for the significant other. Is it today, tomorrow, next week, in 10 minutes? Maybe I'm just jaded, but love in this situation seems more like morphine than a cure. Their mood swings will go up and down, as will their days, and you along with them. At this point, I'm just counting down the days until our kids turn 18, so I can be free. I've been living with a bipolar spouse for many years now. I have a bipolar spouse that has also been diagnosed with bpd. The four people profiled here are hopeful that their personal struggles will resonate with others and underscore the poignant reality that no one with bipolar is alone. Curse at the symptoms of your spouse’s bipolar disorder all you want, but love and respect the person who has the illness. People don't know what it is like to stay with someone because they are too messed up to leave your kids alone with. They can't hold down a steady job, and their relationships with friends and family are destructive at best. Many people with bipolar disorder have happy, successful marriages. My doctor was no help and asked all the wrong questions. Life did become much more manageable after that even though I hated that she died. (And if you don't mind answering, after leaving how did you handle visitation/custody?). Video: Living Day-to-Day With Bipolar. I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 14. Our kids don't deserve it, but I don't know what else to do. I hope you and your family find the peace you deserve. I have had "family therapy" suggested to me. Press J to jump to the feed. They would go off on long abusive tirades in an attempt to emotionally dismantle those closest to them. My wife is on new meds and we haven't seen how they will react with her when she goes through her mid-month menses crazy period. As for the children, I think they can handle a divorce. I would bet on stress. Considering ending a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder can have some added challenges. So, yeah. For the spouse or partner, that can take some of the emotional and practical pressure off. Hell if I know, but one of these days I will reply to her with, "Ok, please be nice about it", and she will seethe with anger. I am emotionally exhausted seeing someone I love so much spiral into major depression and I just want to know how I can help her cope. You seem like you're clued in to your bipolar and have brought your fiance on as an ally. I love my kids, but if I could go back in time and undo them, I probably would. Indeed, caring for someone who has a mental illness can be more draining than caring for someone with cancer, says Dr. Karp. My wife knew that her condition was going to harm everybody. A lot of people only know bipolar disorder as it's shown on TV or in movies. Like she'd know the difference. I stuck around for the kids. Fuck bipolar. Here are techniques for coping with bipolar spouses. If she's trying and is willing to take responsibility for her actions, and she does love you but just can't show it, then you're in a good place with her. Nothing your spouse can do except take her meds and do the therapy. I definitely resent her even though it isn't her fault. And when I thought about it, it's really not. Depression I could handle, but the constant back and forth, never knowing who I'm going to get from day to day, hour to hour? She does usually call me every day, sometimes several times a day, but with intermittent periods where she breaks off communication for a day or two. I imagine it is hard even when all of the bipolar phases are friendly? But are your kids benefitting and thriving from staying? Even when she is happy, I know it is just temporary, which makes it feel fake. On reflection, I realised not many people know that my husband has bipolar. Is this just how it is? It doesn't get better and she seems to like the chaos. If, on the other hand, your spouse refuses treatment, you must learn to protect yourself from abuse. We have a two year old boy and let me tell you that it’s very difficult either way. I know it can be hard to stay on track but I personally would not stay with someone who isn't taking their meds, because to me that means they aren't committed to recovery. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Yeah, it is kinda like being a Mormon polygamist with all the different wives you seem to have placed inside one body. You've said it yourself. The waiting for the bomb to drop part. and then calming down like nothing happened. Kindle Edition $0.00 $ 0. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I just want to be married to someone that is the same person every day. Thank you for sharing. Living with a bipolar spouse means that your life will be unpredictable, as that is the very nature of bipolar disorder. What is the fucking point? Back when my parents got divorced, a mother had to be a member of the Manson family to lose a custody battle over the kids. There are a couple of already popular bipolar subs but having a specific sub just for relationships is important in order to facilitate a community of support. Because like you said, things were always in chaos with the ex around and I was doing pretty much everything myself anyway. Living with a husband or wife who has bipolar disorder can be difficult. Despite that, I fucking hate it. The thing that gets to me is that no matter how many times I go through the roller coaster, I can't ever get used to it. Find someone you can talk to and vent your problems to. I am not the right person to handle this kind of spouse. Because I'm pretty sure I have pushed him to this point before. I love my wife to death id never trade her but somedays the bipolar makes life incredibly hard. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the BipolarReddit community. Hope you guys find what works soon. The difference now is that the chaos is gone. She is extremely distant to me 90% of the time and I try hard as I might to support her emotionally and mentally. It's always been depression and a TBI when he was a kid from a skating accident. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Do men that beat their wives love them, maybe but who gives a shit about those assholes?
living with a bipolar spouse stories reddit 2021